Natural Verse Artificial Insemination: Melanie’s Story

Melanie relates how she became pregnant even though her husband refused to have kids.

I was sixteen when I first started to want a baby. A girl at school was pregnant and I felt jealous of her being able to have her own baby. I don’t think I was the only one watching as her tummy grew and she got heavy. She was only in grade ten. So the next couple years she brought her baby with to the school daycare. Seeing how her little boy was so happy to see her only made the craving worse for me. I wanted to be a mommy too.

She was a single mom but I knew I wanted my baby to have a daddy too. So as hard as it was, I stayed on birth control all through school knowing I needed to wait until I found someone who would be there when a baby came. I dated a few different guys in school. It was always a strange feeling even on the pill when they left semen in my vagina. What if it happened? Sometimes I wished it would.

After high school I was dating a loser. I knew he was trouble and he kept getting in it too. Our relationship wasn’t going so well and he came up with a great plan to make things better. He told me one night he wanted me pregnant so I’d stay with him. He deposited semen that night too. I was still on the pill so I was safe. A few days later I hadn’t heard from him – then he called from jail. He had been arrested. He wanted me to wait for him. I didn’t.

About six months later I got into what may well be my last relationship. The guy was cute and sweet and amazing. I fell head over heels in love with him. Within a few weeks I knew he was the one I wanted to marry. We dated for a couple years and over time become very close. But whenever the topic of kids came up, he was distant. It wasn’t a big secret he wasn’t too comfortable in having any.

That led to a pretty big fight. We actually split up for a month or two. I moved in with my parents. Eventually we worked things out. He promised I could have a baby once we were married. We dated a few more months then set a date for the wedding.

By the time I was married, even my friends knew it wasn’t just about the wedding. It was about me getting pregnant. One of my close guy friends who I had known for years joked that if my fiancĂ© still didn’t perform properly once we were married to just call him and he would make sure I had a baby. We all laughed.

Six months after we were married my husband decided he was not going to get me pregnant. He said he had thought long and hard and didn’t want kids. I hadn’t been on birth control for a few years, but he had always been using condoms. Apparently that wasn’t going to stop.

At my next physical, I told the nurse about my problem. She sympathized. I asked if artificial insemination would be an option for me. She explained a lot about the procedure. Its expensive and your husband needs to agree to it as well. She could tell I was heartbroken that he would have to agree. Then she said that most people with my problem didn’t go that route.

I started to pay a lot of attention. And at first, I was shocked. She said that healthy girls like me didn’t need anything other than the natural way of getting pregnant. Just pick someone else to knock you up she said. I was shocked that she would just openly suggest I get pregnant outside of my marriage.

I told her I didn’t think I could feel ok about having sex with someone other than my husband. She smiled and said that medicine could help. She reminded me about how girls are sometimes raped using date rape drugs. Then she explained the same drugs can be prescribed and I could chose when to use them. I wouldn’t have to remember sex.

I was scared half to death to think about it. But I knew I didn’t want to waste the opportunity. I told her I wanted to take some of those pills home with me and try it. During my pelvic exam the doctor talked about how the pills worked and told me how to take them. And when I left, I had a prescription for them.

I realized a big issue would be finding someone to inseminate me. Then I thought of my guy friends offer. I’d thought it a lot as I had stayed unpregnant for so long. I took him out for coffee and brought up the offer. He jokingly said it was still open to me. When I told him I wanted to take him up on it, he was quiet. He asked if I was sure.

I explained about the pills and how I didn’t want a relationship. I didn’t even really want to cheat on my husband. I just wanted sperm inside me so I got pregnant and that was all. We agreed to try.

As luck would have it I had just started my period so we had to wait a few weeks. When I was about to ovulate my husband had to be away for a few days for work. I called my friend the afternoon I realized I was fertile. I told him I wanted it done.

By the time I got home for work I was already starting to have some doubts. I took two of the pills as soon as I got home because the doctor said to take them at least an hour before sex so I wouldn’t remember it. A few minutes later I changed my mind and decided I wasn’t ready to have sex with someone else just to get pregnant.

My friend came over about half an hour later. I told him I had changed my mind and wasn’t going to get pregnant by him. He didn’t seem upset at all and said maybe it was best. He asked if I’d taken the pills and I said I had. I told him I was scared about already starting to feel a bit drugged up.

He suggested he would stick around and watch tv with me for a while to make sure I was ok. We sat down on the sofa and started to watch some old show I’d seen before. He was teasing me a bit that I was a druggie. By then I think I was slurring my words a bit and I felt so tired.

I snuggled up to him to be more comfortable. And I thought how lucky I was to have such a good friend that he understood to just look after me and not take advantage. I don’t know if I feel asleep or just stopped remembering. But that was all I can remember to this day of that night.

In the morning I wokeup in my bed. At first I didn’t realize anything was weird. Then I noticed I wasn’t in my pjs. I was just wearing panties and nothing else at all. I had to pee so bad and went to the washroom. When I pulled my panties down, there were stuck to my lips. I knew it was dried sperm.

I called my friend and asked what happened. I could dimly remember watching tv with him. I asked point blank if he had inseminated me. He laughed and asked if I could remember having sex with him. I said I couldn’t. He said obviously I didn’t have sex then because I wouldn’t be able to forget something like that.

My head was spinning. I don’t know if I changed my mind and let him have me. Or if he took me when I couldn’t stop him. Or I just don’t know.

A couple weeks later, my tampons sat untouched and the realization dawned on me that I wasn’t going to be having a period. A test confirmed it. I was pregnant.

I told my husband I was pregnant but I didn’t tell him how. He assumed a condom had failed. He was actually pretty ok with it – saying that I had always wanted it so maybe it wasn’t so bad.

I’m a glowing girl now. I’m four and a half months along and sporting my own tummy like I’d always wanted. When I see my friend, he gives it a little rub and tells me how lucky I am that my husband finally got me pregnant. When he rubs me I feel as strange as I did waking up that first morning realizing he had inseminated me.

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